Tuesday, March 01, 2011

17 Courting for Marriage Principles from Mark Driscoll's sermon on Gen 24

I listened to the above sermon yesterday and thought it was profound enough to share the 17 principles he listed from the sermon. This is great for single people and parents who are wondering how they will guide their children towards marriage in the near future (my son is turning 11 this month!). Enjoy the notes and I hope you listen to the sermon as well...

1. Marriage is good.
-First thing in Genesis, it’s good. The man is good. The woman is good. Creation is good. The only thing that’s not good, it’s not good for the man to be alone.

2. Second thing, a Christian should never ever, ever, never, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, never, never, never, ever be romantically connected to a non-Christian, ever.
-If they don’t love God, how are they gonna love you? God’s a lot easier to love than you.

3. The third thing, men should seek a wife by going to where the good, Godly women are.
-She [the woman for you] doesn’t work at Hooters. She’s doing other things. She’s feeding the poor. She’s taking care of the oppressed. She’s liberating captives. She’s leading worship. She’s not at Hooters. She doesn’t need wings or the shirt. You gotta look where she is.

4. Marriage is for men not for boys.
-Isaac is 40. He’s a man. He’s got a job. He’s got a house. He’s got a place. He’s got it together. He’s not a boy. Back in Genesis, man will leave his mother and father, be his own man. Then get married. Then enjoy marital intimacy as one flesh with his wife.

5. Fifth principle, men take a wife, and women are given in marriage.
-A man needs to go get a wife. Not like a caveman, but he’s gotta take the initiative. He’s gotta initiate, and then the wife should be protected first by her dad, and she should be given.

6. Sixth thing, if the woman has a good daddy she should be courted through the daddy like this: lovely young lady, daddy, daddy’s gun and the young boy.
-Dad is all about defense; that’s what he’s about. So young boys see the attractive young gal, daddy loads the gun, plays defense. That’s what daddy does. Protect his little girl, has to be this way, why? He loves her. He wants to protect her.

7. Now, what if the gal doesn’t have a nice, good daddy who loves Jesus, loves his daughter, what happens? Well, then maybe her mommy does or somebody she trusts and has her best interest at heart.
-This happens with Ruth. Her mom and dad are gone. So Naomi is an older woman who fills in this role. If mommy’s not there, then an uncle or a grandpa or a pastor or a community group leader, some good, Godly people are brought in, why? To help oversee things, to give wise counsel.

8. Eight, a man should only pursue a woman who will make a Godly wife and mother.
-Don’t just think, “Oh, she’s hot.” So’s hell. You gotta go for more than that. Hot’s fine. We’re all fine with hot. Rebekah’s hot, great, but she’s gonna be a nice mom. If she’s gonna feed a camel, she’ll feed a kid, right? You see she’s a woman who is hardworking, industrious, nice gal, right?

9. Number nine, a man should not pursue more than one woman at a time.
-Don’t go after ten people at a time, right? I mean, and guys are notorious for this. A gal thinks she’s special. Then she realizes there’s four other gals he’s calling, taking out to tea, dinner. No, one at a time. That could be someone else’s spouse some day. You ladies too, don’t keep five guys on a hook – one at a time, somebody who loves the Lord, that’s competent and qualified to potentially be a spouse.

10. And there should be no sexual contact between the couple until the appropriate time, and then there should be a ton of it
-Ephesians says even be a hint of sexual immorality. Where’s the line? Well, I tell you what, zero; how about that? Oh, come on. How about negative ten? (Laughter) You want me to keep going? No sexual contact. No making out. No necking. No nothing. No nothing. No – why? Well, first of all, God says that the body is holy, belongs to him, and it’s sacred, and you’re not to dishonor it in that way.

11. Eleventh thing, a woman should live her life without a guarantee that she will be married.
-Start a career. Serve Jesus. Be a doctor. You know, pick a career. Do your thing. Love the Lord. Be successful, and don’t just sit there thinking, “Where’s my husband?” It might be a while. He may never show up, and you still gotta live, but when he shows up, your whole life changes, totally changes.

12. You should just live your life, ladies, and when a guy comes along you should be willing to jump track and go a whole other direction.
-For Rebekah, she’s drawing water out of a well. Next thing you know she’s on a camel going 450 miles away. That’s a change – different family, different place, different nation, whole deal.

13. The next point is that a woman’s character should be observed from a distance before a guy initiates.
-Not like a stalker, but, guys, before you jump in, see. See how she serves in church. See what her prayer life is like. See what she does on the job. See how she lives her life. Watch her.

14. The last ones, a woman can accept or decline a man’s advances at her discretion.
-So a guy initiates, “Hi, I love Jesus. I’m interested. What do you think?” And a lady can say yes or no, no. And the guy has to accept it. No one should get their heart broken, but if someone must it should be the man.

15. God is sovereign over the details of our lives through faithful people.
-You see the providence of God in this. God gives Isaac, gives this servant, the servant prays. He goes to town. God provides Rebekah at the well at just the right time. Laban does his job. Rebekah agrees, goes back to meet Isaac. God works out all the details of an individual person’s life. This is our good, sovereign God.

16. The man must choose the woman he loves, but then most importantly, he must love the woman he chooses.
-You don’t fall out of love. Love is something you commit yourself to, and if the Bible says you need to love as a command, then you love, and marriage is a covenant, commitment of love which means I will love you even when I don’t feel like it, and I will love you until my heart changes. So it’s so important going in not just being this untethered, emotional, basket case who is like the tide. Do marry the one you love, but love the one that you marry.

17. God answers prayer, doesn’t he?
-The servant prays, “Please, a good, Godly woman” – Rebekah. Pray. It’s not just about personality type. It’s not just about being in the right place at the right time. It’s about prayer and the sovereign providential God works out the affairs of our lives so that we can meet someone that we can love, that the details can be worked out. Pray.

Freebie: For those that the above just doesn’t fit in for you: Well then there is God’s GRACE! Some of you are thinking, “Oh, my gosh, it’s already too late. I mean, sex, porno, cohabitation, multiple partners, playing people, lying, not having a plan. It’s too late, Mark. I have blown it. I have made huge mistakes, these huge sins. I’m a total fool. See, that’s the beauty of the Christian faith. Jesus Christ died for all our sins, specifically junk we’re talking about.